we live :)

Okay. Obviously i had abandoned my deary blog for a semester ! ahahahahaha.

Again. I'm in a semester break (:

Sounds great, isn't it?

Well, today is 30th December 2011 and tomorrow will be 31st December 2011 and the day after tomorrow will be 1st January 2012 !

The conclusion for 2011 is really tough and hectic year for me.

I had gone through a lot in this year.

I started my uni life early of this year and i had tasted it partially i suppose

and it tastes.. euwww !! ( prolly because of assignments :/ )

I got to know a lot of new friends especially they are from different races and cultures which made me feel really awesome !

I lost a person that i loved the most in this world and i'm still missing her deeply no matter when and where i am.

She was the greatest and most awesome person i had in my entirely life. She gave birth and raised me up this big.

I really appreciate for what she had did for me.

Mom, i just wanna tell you i love you and i miss you very much !

I have some simple wishes for this new year !

All i want is just to have a happier life. With no pain and suffering.

I want everybody to be happyyy and so i ammm :)

pls: a better year. a better life. and a better aemy ;)

in the memory of you, mom !!

Is raining heavily out there and i'm still missing you, mom.

I still can't accept that you're gone, you left me, you left this family.

I keep searching and imagining if you were at home and what were you doing.

I miss the way you lye on the sofa and watch tv.

Whenever i think of you, my tears just fall.

I can't control myself from missing you.

You will always be my great mommy.

I don't used to it when i wanna go out and there is no one in the house to tell now and no more you waiting for me to come back home.

Nobody keeps nagging and calling me to go back earlier.

I miss all these thingsss!!

I need you, mommy!

a pic of you, kor and me.

3years back. taken in usm when we were sending kor to USM.

When i was 7-8years old.

Taken in 3rd aunty's house in Jawi.

December, 1996.

Taken in Singapore.

Year 2005.

Taken at 3rd aunty's house.

Cousin's wedding.

Year 2009.

Taken at Bukit Merah.

Year 2009.

Taken at uncle's house, Taiping.

Aunty's birthday.

Year 2011.

Family Dinner.

pls: i miss your smiles, mommy! :'(

Year 2011.

Our last family pic!

Mom, how are you?

I know i ain't a good daughter sometime as i being so rebellious.

Sorry mom.

I know there is no more chance to say sorry to you anymore but do accept my apology if you can read this.

Still remember last month you were asking me, 'if you were gone then how will i do?'

Then i answered you, 'i will cry until die!'

And now i'm really crying until die.

Mommy...

I promise i'll study hard and graduate and put on the robe one day.

I will make you proud.

I promise i will take good care of myself.

Mommy...

I hope you are doing well now as well.

Take care, alright?

Pls: i love you mommy!

i break

stop asking me whether i'm alright? are you okay? how are you doing? ...

cuz i'm not okay at all !!

i'm tired of telling i'm alright. no worries. i'm tough. i can overcome and so on !! ...

pls: i love you and i miss you, mom !!

sky blue !!

i had been dumping my blog for decades already i suppose. lol.

i don't know what to write actually as everytime i clicked on the 'new post' and i was stunned and my hands were numb.

Well, i guess this will be another random post which is so called everything is in, 'rojak' !! ahahaha.

For all the months passed, everything seemed to be ups and downs.

Seriously, i never really taken any fresh air in facts i'm suffocating for air.

Bad things seem just didn't want to stop hunting me. or i should say they keep following me no matter where i go. what can i do actually? hmmm.. i have no idea.

Yesterday morning i went to jog by myself.

WOW ~ i should be shouting it out.

I enjoyed the breeze of cold air blowing toward me when i was moving forwardly.

It's super awesome.

I can actually rest my mind and my soul as well.

I thought alot while busying moving my legs.

I learnt how to calm down myself and changed my perspective in viewing the matters around me.

I was convincing myself not to be too stubborn or thinking narrowly as everything is gonna be alright if i keep myself positively.

Usually people will be saying take a deep breath and relax yourself so that you can walk a longer journey.

Now finally i understand.

It's a new life starting, perhaps? :)

pls: let go. don't have to be so stubborn :)

Reborn

Finally...

After so many years of long hair!!

I had a freaky haircut today!!

From this...

Become this...
I know it's very short now, but i guess it's time to have a new look already.
and it's the first time i dyed the brightest color ever in my entirely life.

and i feel nice cuz i look fairer with it :)

Pls: I gave myself a present before my 21st birthday :)
Saying hello to my 21st !!!

it's just random

What's love actually? Well, i don't know. lol. Yea, seriously i don't know what's that. Or maybe you should say that i'm dumb enough that's why i don't know.
I see people putting in a relationship with who and who in facebook. Well, at first i felt it's so nice and sweet to put the relationship so publicly as everyone gets to know you are owned or your love is being owned so just f**king stay away from my love. But time passed slowly, i feel that it's too 'open' to others to know about your relationship status as for me i think is quite privately enough cuz it's a thing that between you and him or you and her. When you put in a relationship with someone then people will automatically comes comment or congrats about that. But what if when your relationship is blowing off? Then people will eventually comes 'kepo' about it and asking why then this and that. alot of bullshit will be coming out.
So, if i were them i wont listed it out if i'm owned also. It's a thing between both of us. It's all about both of us. I don't see any ideas that it must listed so publicly.

Maybe you are gonna think i'm weird but i just feel none of this needs.

Well, it's been so long i never blog already. I have been catching up with alot of dramas. My life everyday is just about dramas. non-stop. keeping myself in the room for the whole day with the lappy on my bed and watching dramas.

I know it's lifeless. But i just couldn't find any other ways to cheer myself up.

I wish i could be a better wan.

I ain't perfect but i'm trying my best to be a better wan.

I just hope everything is gonna be fine :)

Pls: i watched a horror movie just now with the family. and i was to timid until i hide myself sitting at the corner while keep peeking to look what's going on inside the movie. It's so scary. I swear no more horror movie ever in my life. and it's still fresh in my mind. Ewwww~ i hate it!!

I'm awaken

Life is just too short sometime.

pls: I love you more than anything.

nightmare returns

Life is m-i-s-e-r-a-b-l-e, isn't it?

pls: tell me everything is going to be alright :'(

Sunshine that shines beautifully

Sometime, i feel i'm seriously ego and in a meanwhile quite demanding as well. I don't know. Maybe this is just the inner of me that couldn't be erase easily. I tried to change and ditching from the bads wan but sometime once people started to put me to hell, and the evil of me just couldn't bear to stay asleep instead she will jump up and throw everything out without any limitations. *evil wink*

And this is really sympathy to the people who boomed by me cuz i'm real bad once my temper is out. Even mommy said so that I have to make changes and try to control my temper. I tried but just eventually failed :(

Well, when people is being nice to me, i will be nice. This is for sure. No worries if you are treating with a sincere heart.

But if ever you try to be bitchy to me, then gone case la weyyy. lol. (talking like i'm the female lion who has the ever sharp fang that will bite your head off once she is starves)

No worries. you will rarely see this cuz i don't simply throw out my temper if you weren't make me seriously freak up :)

And sorry sei fish for the another night, my words might be abit harsh. I'm trying to improve and be a better wan. I hope i can be better someday later :)

And pls you are forever my sista. This won't ever change no matter what. Love ya :)

I'm just who am i and this is Aemy Beh Eiy Ping :)

pls: how good if i can erase everything and start all over again. I failed but at least i didn't give up. (:

we are tearing apart. aren't we?

i'm speechless.

i fail.

pls: you are always my sista. *heartbreaking, tears shedding*

in a hope of....

I always want to be a better wan :)

pls: tomorrow will be always a better wan :D

it was a freaky sundayyyy

Yeahhh~ It's holiday now. Had an unexpected trip to Penang Yesterday :)

Thanks to the fatty king kong, Sing How. He texted me on Sat asking me whether free for tomorrow. Of course without any doubts, my answer for sure would be a YES!

He asked me to guide him the roads in Penang cuz he wanted to go there and fetch his sister.

For sure i know that sei fish will be tagging along wan so i asked him whether she is going anot. He was telling me that she don't want to go cuz of her laziness also economic errors. lol. Then i was telling him if she don't want to go then end up you have to go yourself already but he was asking me to go tempted her so that she will follow and he promised me if i'd convincing her successfully then he will buy me my favorite gummies. Of course when i heard of gummies, i'm so freaking excited. * i know i had been behaving like a kid, but choiceless :) *

So, i tried my very best to ask her to go... i text her, crap with her, talk whatever nonsense to make sure she will be tagging along. At last, she couldn't bear with my nosiness and agree to go. Seeee.. i'm so good in persuading * wink ;) *

That's the gummies i was rewarded :)

And while waiting his sis, we went lepak of course.

Went Gurney at first.

We went for swensens for ice-cream.

After that, we went BBQ Plaza.

* i know we eat alot but we just couldn't bear to stop sucking things into our mouth :P *

The sei king kong and me.

Sei fish and me :)

After that we went to Straits Quay. Charlie Brown Cafe :)

Everything is based on Snoopy's theme.

camwhore in Straits Quay's washroom. :D

the another girl is Sing How's sis.

That's for my past Sunday. It's quite tiring cuz have to woke up early in the morning and be prepared to wait for them to come pick me up then we went for dim-sum breakfast at lake garden then we joked, we crapped stupidly in the car. That was fun! I love it although i was the big bulb for them but i just feel nice to hang out with them cuz they are shewitttt :)

I don't know what to do at home actually. Doing nothing at home everyday. Lifeless :(

And what i want to do during this sem break is to get myself fair back cuz aunt said i'm so freaking dark after i went to Penang :(

And also lose some weight. I want DIET and i have to DIET!!

Because i look chubby now :(

pls: i don't know. i feel lost without you. do you feel the same way as me?

i'm a freak i guess

Sometime, i'm lost.

it's just like i can't find ways out from a jungle and keep turning at the same place with tears rolling in the eyes.

i don't know.

don't ask me what's the hell going on with me.

cuz i have no idea with me also.

i guess i'm just randomly being emo. :P

pls: nothing is more painful than saying good-byeeee :(

it was just a dream.

Wow, i want to shout something out loud which is

MY FIRST SEM IS OFFICIALLY BLOW OFF NOW!!

Which is means that i'm having holidays now :D

And it would be a 3months break i guess!

Awesome, right?

*sei fish was whining that i'm having a so freaking long sem break*

*don't get envy kay sei fish?* ahahahahahahaha.

Since sei fish is in Taiping and of course we have to lepak :P

So, we went out just now.

Went to eat mango rice and she can't finish up and ended up i was the one who had to stuck everything into my dear mouth. Sei fish betol! Everytime also like this wan! Luckily i didn't order anything else if not i'm going to stuck all into your mouth until you vomit. LOL

*i guess she is gonna to kill me if she sees this later :P

After we planned for a movie but the time isn't allow us to watch so we went to walk around and it's too boring in Taiping cuz there is nothing else to do already! aiks...

So, i pulled her for MCD for the next round cuz i want the glasses.

She was so freaking full so i ordered a set and we shared but i guess i ate the most.

* i know i eat alot but this is just me* :)))

This week is a blueky glass. It's nice but i still prefer my pinky pinko which available only in next week. And sei fish promised to get me one next week. So, i'm staying tunned for that :)

And finally i got sticky.

It looks so nice in so many colors!

*credited to sei fish cuz she is the one who bought this for me.

i love you so much, sei fish ♥

Well well, i have no idea what to do in these few months laaaa..! I guess bed will be the most time i will be spending with kot. lol

I'm gonna miss Penang :(

pls: tell me if you are in love with me :)

I want to be loved

What a damn week for me?!

Seriously, it freaks me out la weyyyy...!!

So many things came to me in the same week.

First wan, i'm so f**king sick!

Second wan, i received calls from mom that grandpa passed away last night and i have to rush back to Taiping which i didn't plan to go back earlier cuz i thought of staying back to study for my damn account paper!

Third wan, i had prepared myself to go after class today ended up i got informed that i have to stay back cuz i have to attend the stupid meeting tmr and sat and i had been calling my mom since last night about going back and not going back. She also kinda freaked up by me actually. Sorry mom :(

Fourth wan, my damn account paper is shifted earlier which will drop on the 10th of may instead of 12th may! This is really very f**ked up laaaaaaa!

Fifth wan, I bought the ticket to go back Taiping on sat noon ended up mom was calling me during the class just now and telling me that dad is fetching me and bro on sat! Arggghh~ why just can't you tell me earlier!?

Sixth wan, maybe be there will be no MPW paper to subtitute my 3months' summer break. It's actually a good news but i had already mentally set that i'm going to clear the papers in this sem break ended up....

and the most 'best part' is that i still have to pay for the rental if i wasn't staying during the sem break and also the streamyx bills! *wtf*

Seriously la, there are alot in my mind now! I'm tired! Can anyone just lend me a shoulder to lay on for awhile? I'm craving for it :(

Grandpa passed away is such a shock for me actually cuz i called mom yesterday and asking about grandpa and she was telling me he had already discharged from the ward and backed home already but until night mom called me and telling me that grandpa couldn't awake from sleep already and he is death :'(

Wauuu~ It is really a damn f**king hectic week for me!

What's happen to my life actually?

I'm just an ordinary girl that craving for a simplest life ever :(

Why is it so hard?!!

But luckily i got them :)

lim fen fen and miss sham sham are there for me.

We went for a movie just now to release my tension.

THOR!

Wow, it so freaking nice! I likey :)

I hope everything is gonna be alright! The bads wan stop hunting for me pls.

:(

I want to smile and laugh out as loud as i do. :(

pls: stay closer so that i can feel your breath!

Peak Time

I should had posted this last week but because the connection was sucks and also my short-term memory lost. lol

Okay.

Bought new flipper with the two sampat at home :P

Saw it in 1st Avenue the other day already but because of miss sham sham wasn't there so me and Yuh Fen waited for her to come back from Kulim then only we go buy together.

How lovely we are, right ? :)

And the best part is our flipper is exactly the SAME!

Only the size is different.

Mine is the smallest and the cutest for sure :)

and the follow by lim fen fen and miss sham sham.

*actually, lim fen fen's feet is the same like mine but she scared both of us will tersilap wear each other flipper that's why she chosen 6 and she said is more comfortable with bigger size*

We couldn't bear to take off the flipper actually cuz it's freaking comfy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Exam is coming and yet i didn't know what am i doing now :(

Oh dear accounting, pls let me love you for this 2weeks so that i can pass!

aemybeheiyping! Stop procrastinating!!

Arggghhh~~~

and also dear sore throat pls stay away from me.

You come visit me back after 12th but not now. :((

So, chaoz chaozzzzz~

Gonna off to bed. Having a bad headache and flu.

Dizzy la weyyyyyy :(

So, nights world :)

Pls: Just set me free so that i can fly high :D

忽变

转眼间，就过了这样多年了。。。地球天天都在转，人和事物都天天地在改变。

我呢?

我变了吗？

我变得这么样了？

pls: 有很多事情都不是我们掌控得到的。

简简单单就是爱，不是吗？

doomy dayyy

I don't know what to write as there are too much of things inside my bloody head.

But seriously time passed very so super fast.

It's Friday already!

I'm so super duper damn lazy actually!

But i just have to rush up the assignment and study for exam and then this semester is officially blow off :)))

and i can lepak with my sei fish after i go back to Taiping :)

*thumbs up*

I miss you sei fish!

I got so much things to throw onto you :(

I want holiday!

Aaaaarrrggghhhh~~

and i painted my nails into pinko pinky ♥

* first time painted myself with this color. i feel weird but friends said is nice. and credits to sham for the nail polish. muacks ♥♥*

Pls: Every relationship goes through stages. Where and how each stage develops is ultimately up to each person. While we always hope for the best, we often can't avoid the inevitable.

The past is still hunting me down. I know i'm being selfish but i just don't know what's the best.

Blacky day!

Arrrr..!!

Suddenly just feel like blogging but don't know what to write actually.

Yesterday was a poster exhibition :)

Haven't been ruin with this poster for months but at last I done it.

*cheer for me pls :)

ahahahahaha.

That's sham and my poster :)

My organisational life.

I talked something about air stewardess.

It's my dream since i was small.

Nice? ;)

That's us.

My batch's girls :)

*I have no idea why i laughed like this but pls don't laugh at me :(

girls ❤

*xoxo*

This is the ever last presentation for this sem, which is means NO MORE PRESENTATION!!!

Wow, cheer for me :)

But now, i'm ruin with the written assignment :(

I have no idea how am going to start doing that assignment cuz i'm lost :'(

Who wanna to help me?

GOD, pls help me !!!

I know i'm being so fussy now but just shut up and read, kay?

I just feel like wanna to shout out loudddd!!

~Argggghhhhhhhh~

I know physically i can't shout like this but mentally i do (:

ahahahaha.

Pls: I wanna stay peacefully, can i? :(

is our day

Sei fish came back Penang with me last week.

Then, we planned for one day tour around Penang.

It's quite tiring but it's NICE :)

So, before i hang out with her, i tried to finish up my assignments as much as possible but lucky and smart of me, i managed to finish some of it so i can really play hard for few days but now i got to go back for entertaining my dearly assignments again :((

But nvm. I'd really enjoyed this few days :)

So, one day tour around Penang looks nice for us.

Lazy want to write la. So, just look at some of the pics taken by me :)

Gurney :)

Big Apple Donuts.

[credit to sei fish, next time don't so greedy buy too much and ended up can't finish and dump them, okie dokie?] ahahahahaha

Us again :)

*Gurney Drive*

Finally, is me :)

*i know the photo quality is very low but choiceless. Just bear with it, k?*

Imagine my nice face in the pic :)

I know it's very little pics but i'm lazy to transfer from my phone.

*sorry*

Pls: sei fish, we plan for another nice trip k?

we belong together :)

These are my dearly housemates :)

**Purposely updated for you, sei fish!

Don't say i don't miss you cuz i miss you like hell :P

lol.

Kayethre :)

*we took outside the restaurant of BBQ [don't know what's the actual name]

cute, right the dinasour? :)

This is Yuh Fen, my roommate.

She is a funny girl. very sampat wan.

I think if you can mingle with her very well cuz she is real sampat po. lol

Them ♥

Me and them :)

*opposite the gurney drive.

We were hesitating to take pic with this 'statue' cuz we are scared :S

but at last i took with Yuh Fen.

This is Chui Ling. another housemate.

This is Sham. ♥

She is a nice coursemate and housemate :)

She's also very sampat but very funny just like you. lol

So, i guess it would be nice if we hang out altogether.

So, come Penang soon ya.

;)

Finally that's me :)

*pls: That's Yuh Fen finger. hahahahahahaha

Sei fish, don't get too touch until cry yaaaaa. lol.

And buy me more gummies and lolis ya.

muacks ;)

Pls: ditching the past for a better future. bless me :)